


I'm never letting go.

by orphan_account



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Hurts So Good, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29960724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Harry has a lot of communication problems, poor Sonny couldn't have guessed..Extra tags: Protect Sonny, Pietro is a good friend, Harry has problems, He's a good BF tho, Neck pecks, mention of Harry kids, Poor Sonny thinks they're breaking up, word vomit really, excessive use of italic
Relationships: Harry Kane/Son Heung-Min
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	I'm never letting go.

It was the 4th time that day that Son felt left out. 10th time that week and it was only Wednesday, all because he was seated, off the pitch, and he just could watch the other guys having a bit of fun, but more importantly,  _ Harry _ being lovely, without him. Hugging Bale around and laughing hard enough to sting, and not  _ needing _ him. Son didn't really know when it started but he was pretty sure it had been gradient. Harry not needing him on pitch, and then starting to give those celebration hugs without waiting for him (he was pretty sure everyone could feel his frustration building up on that game against Palace for a while), and now they were barely meeting up after practice, he hadn't been to H's place for over a week, and he didn't get those "You did great" kisses anymore. And it  _ hurt,  _ and it felt like a breakup. 

He could tell Pierre knew, God knows how. The guy had started to spend more time with him to try and distract his mind, saying stuff like "You know the divorce H is going through is really eating him alive" to explain rough edges, it was nice of him, he's always been a good supportive friend, but Sonny still felt out of place.

So, like any responsible adult, Son skipped training that day, said he wouldn't be able to go, apologised and spent all day trying not to cry while overthinking. He felt stupid, and he hated it.

It was barely ten past 5pm when he heard a bang on the door, too early to be any of the guys but too late to be his parents, so he just let whoever knock until they gave up.

"Son? Open up, I know you're in there. C'mon, please open the door." Son took 10 seconds before replying, or even breathing at all.

"Going, H."

That was it, he could feel it in every step he took towards the door. It was going to end... he really didn't want to open up the door.

Son found himself face to face with a really worried Harry, still on his Spurs training kit, jacket over it, looking as nervous as he had been the first time he was there. God he was pretty.

"I noticed that you weren't anywhere today. Pierre said that you called in sick, took the day off? I thought that was weird. How are you?"

"I'm fine, doing just fine. Weren't you supposed to be training? It'sa pretty early." 

"Yes yah, actually... can I come in?"

Son didn't have to reply at all, of course he could, he could go in literally any time. And he wasn't going to address the weirdness in the atmosphere either, the fact that Harry looked like he had just run out the camp mid-training.

Harry sat down on the sofa and patted the empty space next to him, waiting for Son to get the message. He did, and of course he took the seat next to him, but he also felt like crying.

_ It looked like a break up _ .

"Son, I don't know where to start… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

_ It sounded like a break up. _

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, trembling, as though that would help at all "I can fix it, we can…"

"What? No. No, Sonny, you didn't."

"Are you sure? Because I can make this work I want to- I don't want..."

Sonny wasn't sure when he started to cry, but it took Harry hugging him tight for him to snap back to reality. And it felt so heartbreakingly like  _ home _ , the smell of his skin and shampoo, the scratch of his beard, the way he would caress his hair, trying to comfort him. Son could only press him tighter and hide his face on Harry's shoulder while crying. He was sure Harry would disappear if he ever let go. Maybe he would.

"Sweetheart, please." Harry murmured. And Son was sure it was supposed to help but it only made him grasp harder for dear life. Why did he have to be so gentle? "Shh it's okay, love. Let it out, it's okay."

Sonny could feel his sobs dying but, whether was it because he was afraid of parting or because his comfort was still minimal, he just couldn't bring himself to let go. To stop grasping at that number 10 like it was a lifeline.

"I'll never leave you, sweetheart. I was feeling paranoid, Sonny, hating myself mostly.." Harry started feather-like against his hair, and though that usually meant a monologue was coming, Son had missed his gentle voice. The words hurt all the same. "I shouldn't have distanced myself from you, I just felt like I was falling and I couldn't talk to you because I just, I didn't want you to think I was second guessing our relationship, as stupid as that sounds now. I am so sorry, God I really am. I should've held you closer."

Son felt silly now, because he was hurting he forgot to realise that Harry himself wasn't acting normal either. He pushed Harry onto his back with his body and just  _ stayed _ there, hugged and laid on top of his chest, even in the dim light of the living room he could see on Harry's face that something was bugging him, he always wore that tight stuck-in-thought face when stuff like that happened.

"I thought you were growing tired of me… I wish you'd talk to me about that stuff. I can help you through your problems too, you know?"

"Yah… I should've done that." He said thoughtfully, more interested in drawing on Sonny's back and scalp than anything else. 

"Do you maybe wanna talk about it?" It was a long shot, Son knew that, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Harry was holding back. The sad smile that filled half of Harry's face broke Sonny's heart, shattered it in more than one way, really. He had never seen Harry in such discomfort, not even when the Spurs lose a hard game, he never even saw him cry.

"I just wish it wasn't this hard, on my mind and all... I get scared of the cameras sometimes, and I'm afraid for my kids and for my career. And for you. I guess I'm just not as confident as I like to think I am. The world is terrible all the same."

Harry's face was so scrunched and tight, Son's sure it's going to bruise, and even when he rubs his thumb over the bumps lovingly, he doesn't really see any ease. "Do you ever regret it?" he asked, heart being squeezed tight in his chest, he just  _ had _ to know.

"Never. Not really." Harry replied in a heartbeat, shaking his head "Not when I get to hold you like this, or kiss you breathless, or fucking lift you up on pitch for everyone to see after a goal and bend you over at night after a win. God, I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world." 

And Son could tell that it was real, his heart eased and he kissed Harry like it would solve anything. Maybe it did, because he could feel Harry smiling against his lips. He would kill to be able to do that forever. "We're gonna get through this together, H. I know it, I'm never gonna leave."

"Yeah," Harry murmured, kissing Sonny's neck after he hid his face on his shoulder "Together."

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments make my day. Protect these guys, they're literally so pure.


End file.
